Today was a hard day for me. I did something I would never have believed I would do. I intentionally ended a relationship with someone. I’ve known her for about five years and have tried to be a friend to her. But the time has come when our relationship just wasn’t working for me. It’s not what I want or need or desire. It’s just not right. So, I ended it. This goes against my every grain. It makes me feel sick to my stomach. I feel selfish and unloving. I’m extremely sad. It makes me feel like a bad Christian.
As a Christian I feel like we are to build each other up, not tear down. We are to mend fences, not build walls and yet today I felt the need to sever ties. I never want to hurt anyone. I don’t want to rock the boat. I just take what comes, try to forgive and move on. This was a hard call for me because I know I have upset her. I don’t like to upset people. I know she will have to bear the burden of forgiving me. I don’t like putting that on anyone, but I know this is what is best. I tried to explain my situation and why I felt the way I did and well, as you can imagine the response was less than gracious. I expected it though. She’s hurting.
I’m sorry I don’t have any profound truth to share today. I just wanted to share my heart. I know God will lead me through this whether I made the right decision or not. I’m sure as time passes I will begin to feel better. I’m sure my heart will heal. I pray God will heal her heart too!
If you feel led, please pray for both of us.
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:” (Eccl. 3:1 NIV)
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Lori, it’s not an easy thing to do, yet necessary at times. I recently had to do the same thing with an older lady. But I found myself in turmoil in the relationship. I, like you felt incredibly guilty at first, but I am at peace with my decision. Sometimes we just can’t avoid making hard choices, but I’m sure it’s for the best.
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Thanks for the encouragement Sheila. I just hated doing it!
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I know!
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Lori, Please do not think of this as a failed relationship. GOD places people in our paths for both long term and short term. Do not feel bad because you did not click with this lady. Remember even the 12 that were the closets to Christ did not have close friendships among each other.
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Thanks Lance. I do think there was a time for me to encourage and be a friend to her. I think that time is over. Just hard to let go. I’m not one to give up easily:)
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