Today was a hard day for me. I did something I would never have believed I would do. I intentionally ended a relationship with someone. I’ve known her for about five years and have tried to be a friend to her. But the time has come when our relationship just wasn’t working for me. It’s not what I want or need or desire. It’s just not right. So, I ended it. This goes against my every grain. It makes me feel sick to my stomach. I feel selfish and unloving. I’m extremely sad. It makes me feel like a bad Christian.
As a Christian I feel like we are to build each other up, not tear down. We are to mend fences, not build walls and yet today I felt the need to sever ties. I never want to hurt anyone. I don’t want to rock the boat. I just take what comes, try to forgive and move on. This was a hard call for me because I know I have upset her. I don’t like to upset people. I know she will have to bear the burden of forgiving me. I don’t like putting that on anyone, but I know this is what is best. I tried to explain my situation and why I felt the way I did and well, as you can imagine the response was less than gracious. I expected it though. She’s hurting.
I’m sorry I don’t have any profound truth to share today. I just wanted to share my heart. I know God will lead me through this whether I made the right decision or not. I’m sure as time passes I will begin to feel better. I’m sure my heart will heal. I pray God will heal her heart too!
If you feel led, please pray for both of us.
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:” (Eccl. 3:1 NIV)