My Confession


My writing is so sporadic these days. It seems I have the inspiration but not the time. Or maybe I have the time but not the inspiration. I thought the “lazy” days of summer would open the opportunity for me to sit and reflect and write. Life doesn’t turn out the way we hoped. But today, I am writing and that makes my heart glad.

Several months ago, I attended a meeting for an organization I am affiliated with. The speaker for that evening approached the podium and offered her experience. She shared her testimony. She praised God for His hand. She was thankful her child had made the decision he had. Everyone applauded and I walked away angry.

My anger wasn’t against what God did in her life; it was her choice of words. I don’t know her exact words, but my ears heard condemnation for those who didn’t follow the same direction. In my mind, I heard her speak against another institution and every single person who chose to be a part of that institution. I am a part of that institution. And so, I was hurt by her comments.

Anger is a tricky emotion. It generally follows a hurt. When left unchecked, the anger can lead to bitterness. Last week, God opened my eyes about the root of bitterness growing in my heart. It was spreading causing me to have blurred vision.  Anything, or person involved with that organization became tainted. They were all misled, misguided and misinformed. The very thing I was angry at the speaker for had become my platform. Ouch!

I am always amazed at the amount of time I have wasted with anger. It accomplishes nothing. It makes it hard for me to hear and see God. It focuses on the wrong doing in the world and not God’s hand. And it causes me to lose perspective. The reality is, if the speaker for that evening knew how offended I was, she would probably have been horrified. She never intended to hurt anyone, only to encourage.

I’m moving forward these days laying my anger at the foot of my Savior. My prayers have been many but I can feel my joy returning.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9 ESV)