This weekend my husband and I learned of a situation we have to deal with. It’s frustrating because we’ve been dealing with trial after trial in this same area of our lives. Each time we think we are free and the horizon looks bright, something else creeps in to cloud our vision. Honestly, it’s rather discouraging.
I confess, I want life to be easy. I don’t like to struggle. I don’t like to fight. I just want peace and harmony in every area of my life. I want to be independent. I don’t want to have to ask God for help. My desire is to work it out on my own. But, I’ve realized I’m so terribly prideful. When I do things on my own, I take the credit and I become judgmental.
In the past, my reaction was always to ask God, “Why me?” Each and every trial was centered around my feelings, my needs, my desire for a life of ease. I remember reading the book In the Presence of My Enemies several years ago by Gracia Burnham. She talked about being held hostage in the jungle with her husband. Her husband was killed during the rescue but she survived and returned home to her children. At the end of this book, she is having a conversation with her son where she talks about the spiritual effect her experience left her with. As much as she was relieved to be home and safe, she missed the intimacy she had with God during that time.
Thinking back over the last few years has shown me a few things. First, God has seen us through every challenge. He has remained faithful, each and every time. He never let us down. Second, my perspective isn’t His perspective. I tend to look at the problem. He looks at the journey required to reach the solution. Third, and most importantly, He is able. He can do anything. He continually amazes me with His creativity and power.
I still don’t desire to go through trials. They are painful, unnerving, and unpredictable. But I have seen God work in ways I would never have imagined. When trials come, I get the opportunity to see Him at work. Life with God is never about our comfort, it’s about His love and desire to be close to us.