I’ve been laid up with a pulled back muscle for several days now. Actually, it was feeling better, and then I did too much and pulled it even worse a second time. So, I am working really hard to be still and just rest. This is not easy for me. It is summer and I want to do anything other than sit on a heating pad. I try to sit by the pool and that helps but I can’t do much swimming without aggravating my sore muscle, so I’ve been spending a lot of time sitting in my bed. It’s boring.
My boring life lends itself to a lot of prayer. Today I listened to praise music because I was feeling a bit defeated. I was feeling discouraged about something I’ve been praying about. I was wondering if God was involved or if I had fabricated this whole thing. Had He really called me or am was it just wishful thinking? I always do this. At first I’m so sure. I’m inspired and excited and everything is falling into place. Then I hit a rough spot and I question. I spend my thoughts and prayers asking God if He really, really meant what He said. I wonder and struggle and doubt.
So today, not ten minutes ago, I just prayed. Then I opened my Bible and read…”Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” That was the very scripture He gave me when He called me into my present situation. Those were the words I hung on to when I stepped out in faith. Those are the words of promise to remind me He is at work.
Most of my problem comes because I have a preconceived notion in my head of how things are going to work out. I expect ease. I expect simplicity. I expect that because God is in it, everything will come to pass without any difficulty. There is one thing I’ve forgotten. Satan is the great deceiver. He is working so very hard to prevent the work God is doing. He is working tirelessly to discourage, anger and defeat God’s plan. Over and over he shows himself to be contrary to God’s will. And still I fall for it.
I don’t know how God puts up with me sometimes. He must get so tired of me questioning His purpose and will. But then He is gracious, isn’t He?
I don’t know where you find yourself today, but if you are walking in doubt and discouragement, praise Him. If you are struggling, open His word. And pray. Ask Him to renew your heart. Pray for His vision to be your focus. And ask Him to open your eyes to the schemes of the enemy!
- Delight (adisplayofsplendor.com)