“Cease striving and know that I am God;” (Psalm 46:10a NASB)
Lately, I have really struggled in my walk with God. He has seemed quiet and I have been anxious. I was glad for the week away because it seems God’s voice is the loudest when I sit by the sea with the gentle breeze on my face and my eyes focused on the waves crashing down on the sand. I don’t know why that is, but that is where I go when I am desperate to meet with the Lord. Usually, He finds me and we talk. That didn’t happen on my vacation. Instead, I simply relaxed. I desperately wanted to hear from Him. I wanted direction, but nothing came. I was faithful to read and pray (most days) but still I came home with questions.
The blessing of this vacation was that my great-nephews joined us on the trip. The youngest one in particular made me think this morning. You see, at home his parents are the center of his life (as my sister pointed out). Everything is “Mom, Dad”. It was so sweet and they are such a cute family together. A couple of times, as my niece tried to love on him, he pushed her away and her response was, “He wants nothing to do with me this week”.
My nephew was distracted by the next thing that got his attention. If it was something someone was eating, he wanted some. If it was a toy his cousin was playing with, he had to have it. If it was something on television, he was gazing motionless at the big black box. He was constantly running around either chasing his cousin or being chased because he snatched his cousin’s toy. It’ funny, he is really no different than a grown-up. We see things we have to have and we begin our journey to get it. We work hard at running toward those things we must have. We push God away in order to chase our momentary desires. And we are constantly going somewhere and doing something to achieve our goal.
One would think that at my age I would be more mature than a one-year-old, apparently not. I still see things I want and won’t give up until I get them. I chase after them as though they were worth something and push aside the One who loves me. In fact I think up ways I can have what I want trying to make it fit into God’s plan. Yes, this old lady has the intention of a baby sometimes.
I have been restless over the last several weeks but God had shown me I need to rest. I need to sit close to Him and listen. I don’t need to push away as I pursue my agenda, I simply need to refocus. Comfort comes when we rest in the arms of our Savior.