I went on a “me date” this morning. I was so excited to have absolutely nothing planned for today. I had dreams of walking around the lake getting some much needed exercise. I would finish with a bottle of water and an apple. The day was perfect. The sun was shining. The temperature was absolutely perfect. It was an absolutely lovely morning. It all happened just as I had planned. After my walk, I sat and read my Bible and wrote in my journal. The birds were chirping the sun was shining. My mind was filled with good thoughts and I displayed them on the empty page. It was magical! I had just finished writing about the perfect morning I was having when the phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number but answered anyway. And just as if someone had taken the beautiful classical music playing in my head and scratched the record, it all came to a screeching halt.
The person on the other end of the conversation was not someone I wanted to speak to. She isn’t a friend or an enemy. She is simply an acquaintance. She is someone I have had to deal with over the last few months and to be honest; I’m not pleased with her performance. I’m sure my sarcastic tone gave her the impression I wasn’t happy with her. My end of the conversation was short and curt and my irritation with the whole situation was made very apparent. We ended our conversation and my thought was, she has just ruined my perfect day. I mean, I had it all planned out. I was moving forward with my plan. But now I’m just irritated. I’m frustrated and it’s all ruined. I decided to pack up my things and my bad attitude and head for home.
I came home and opened this morning’s devotional to read, Colossians 3:13 “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Was that a slap in the face or what? Maybe it was just a slap to my puffed up ego! You know, God is really working on my attitude. I have asked Him to make me more of an encourager. I have asked Him to make me more grace filled. You know those people who are just nice all of the time? They are always kind, always forgiving and always gracious. You know them. They do exist. I’m just not one of them. But, that’s how I want to be. I want to be that person who can look past someone else’s faults and see the good in them. I want to be the person who just doesn’t care about the little things because they simply don’t matter. I want to be the person who forgives over and over without expecting anything in return. I want to be that kind of person because that’s what Jesus looks like to me.
Jesus is kind and patient and loving. He has an honest love in His heart for people. I don’t know if I have that. I think I have that for the people I care about, but I don’t think I have that kind of love for the random people in my life. I have many acquaintances and I can’t say that I love them as Jesus does. I guess that’s why I reacted the way I did today. I think, in my heart, I don’t have love for those I don’t know.
This journey with Jesus is not an easy one. Over and over He exposes my heart. He exposes my motives. And I have to say, it’s not always the prettiest of pictures. But I’m thankful He doesn’t walk away in disappointment as I do. He keeps working on me, showing me how to be more like Him. Jesus showed up to walk with me as I traveled from frustration to forgiveness today. It’s a painful road, but He stayed right beside me every step of the way. Perhaps my day didn’t work out exactly as I had planned. But Jesus showed up and that’s what made it perfect!