I Want

I’ve been going through my goals over the last few days and realizing that I am asking a lot of God. I want to be more encouraging. I want to be less critical. I want to be more gracious. I want to lose weight. I want to exercise more. I want to be a good Mom. I want to love my husband well. I want, I want, I want. These are some of the things I wish I could change about myself. These are the things on my list of goals for the year. And yet I find something terribly wrong with them. They are simply a list of “I wants”. And even more troubling, they are a list of outward changes.

“The blood of goats and bulls and the ashes of a heifer sprinkled on those who are ceremonially unclean sanctify them so that they are outwardly clean.” (Hebrews 9:13 NIV)

I read this chapter of scripture this morning. Paul is telling the Hebrews that throughout history the Jewish nation has depended on the priests to cleanse them of their sin. They have been outwardly cleansed, but Christ came to sanctify our hearts. He came to change what is going on within our hearts. He came so that we could be cleansed inside and out.

All of my “I wants” honestly have to do with the outside of me. For whatever reason, I am more concerned about my outward appearance physically and spiritually than with God’s vision for me. God desires my inside to be cleansed. If I first work on my heart, then I will become less critical. My heart will learn to see God’s goodness in others. If I allow God to take hold of my heart and change it, then the words I use will be words of affirmation. If my insides change to be more Christ-like, then my outward appearance will reflect Him as well.

Lord, I pray you will change my “I wants” into “Your will be dones”.


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