This morning I woke up with an agenda. I had my day planned out. I felt certain of what I needed to accomplish. One of the things I felt I needed to do was participate in a prayer group at my son’s school. It’s a time I thoroughly enjoy and always come away from praising God for the opportunity. And this morning when I woke up, I knew I needed to make it a priority. Everything in my flesh wanted to drop everyone off at school and come straight home. I had this need in my heart to attend this prayer meeting, so I got up with the intention of starting my day with prayer.
Unfortunately, I had forgotten that I told my daughter I would make smoothies this morning. She asked me to make them last night and I said I would make them for breakfast. Lucky for me, she never forgets…anything. So, she and her twin brother reminded me of what I said as I was on my way to take a shower. Ugh!! I explained that I didn’t have time this morning. I woke up late and they woke up even later. I only had enough time to shower and get ready. There wasn’t enough time for smoothies. I reminded them that I made some banana bread yesterday and Jonah with all of his food allergies would be able to eat it. I made it special so he could have some too. They were disappointed but decided they could settle for just banana bread this morning. Whew!
So, I went to take my shower. And the whole time I was having Mommy guilt. I felt so bad for going back on my word. What am I teaching my kids if I can’t even keep my word? It was awful. I really felt bad and so I decided, we could be ten minutes behind this morning but I was going to make them smoothies…because I said I would. After my shower, I went out to the kitchen to keep everyone on task and expected sad faces. I expected my son to remind me that I had said one thing and did not follow through. I really expected them to try and talk me into making the smoothies. But what I found instead, were two happy kids. They were eating their breakfast complimenting me on how good the banana bread was. They were making their lunches and going along as if nothing had happened this morning. They had accepted my “no” without attitude. I was stunned. I was also pleased.
I have to be honest; I was a bit convicted by their gracious attitudes this morning. I’m not so happy when I don’t get what was promised to me. When God tells me “no” I don’t adjust my prayers, I keep asking why. I don’t settle for half of a blessing, I want the whole thing. And when God decides that I don’t actually need what I think I need, I am not so accepting of it.
Unlike me, God doesn’t run out of time. He doesn’t forget. He is in control of everything. And He certainly knows what’s best. He never has guilt about failing me. He never feels like He let me down. He always has a good reason for holding off on a blessing. His timing is perfect. In the meantime, I need to be content where I am. I need to be thankful for what I do have. And I need to go on with life and a have happy attitude.
“Not that I speak from want; for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.” (Phil. 4:11)